They made a movie…about emojis.


The above image is best how I’d describe this disaster.
The emoji movie tells the story of the ‘meh’ emoji, and his struggle to fit in because he can’t make only one face. Yes. You read that correctly. Never in my life have I witnessed a more unnecessary film.
The entire film’s premise was based around emoji jokes. The scriptwriters didn’t try any further than point out that the characters in the film were emojis, and backed that up with phone jokes.


Never in my life have I seen more shameless product placement. As an integral part of the plot, the characters have to get to Dropbox in order to be uploaded onto the Apple Cloud. Along the way they pass through Facebook, YouTube and Candy Crush.


It will always baffle me why Sir Patrick Stewart agreed to appear in this film. His talents were wasted on the ‘poop emoji’ and he hardly has anything to say in this movie. You read that right too. Patrick Stewart…is poop. What a colossal waste of time.

If you think I was the wrong demographic for this movie, let me assure you I was in a cinema packed with children. I did not hear so much as a squeak of laughter. The room was dead. This film thoroughly deserves its 1.7/10 on IMDb and 8% on rotten tomatoes.
I am ashamed I paid full price to witness this horror in 3D.

I really don’t think I have much else to say other than avoid this atrocity whatever you do. Don’t even send your kids to it.

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